…when I just want to lock myself in the bathroom and veg out the whole day long. Today is one of those days.

I won’t bore you with the day to day struggles of being a writing SAHM, but I am going to give you a glimpse at the reason I often feel like screaming and running away.

Today I had to mail a submission. Okay, it was a re-submission, but I won’t go into that. Suffice it to say, I spent all morning printing and reworking my cover letter, getting the whole thing packaged up and ready to go. After feeling guilty for neglecting the younger two gremlins, I figured I’d be a good mom and take them to McDonalds so they could play. McDonalds is not my favorite place, but being a good mom, I sacrificed. An hour in the echoing playground and I had a migraine, but, they were happy, so it worked.

We swing by the post office on the way home and run in, where I proceed to use the self-mailing machine to send my package so I don’t have to stand in line with the boys. Sure enough, it all goes smoothly until I notice that the mailing label has the wrong city on it. Hm, that’s odd. I check my label. Same zip. Crap, either I entered it wrong (and by checking the address label, I know I didn’t) or I must have the wrong zip code.

Frustrated, I load the boys back in the car and zip home. Sure enough, the zip is wrong. By this time though, school is almost over so we have to wait for the six-yr old to get home. I print a new label, she gets home, I load everyone back in the car, she grumbles about being hot and hungry, I tell her to deal with it for ten minutes, we head back to the post office.

I take the kids inside. Three kids in the post office. Gee, that’s fun. I ask them to be good for a few minutes, then I’ll take them to DQ. I figure a bribe will work.

We stand in line. There are about four people ahead of us. The older two are playing under the counter. They’re being quiet, so I don’t mind. The baby is on my hip. The older two start getting rowdy. I’m beginning to lose my patience with the slowest line on the planet.

Finally, it’s our turn. I step up to the counter. The older two are yelling now. The guy behind the counter holds up his finger and says, “I’ll be right back.” He disappears into the depths of the post office. Minutes go by. LOOOOOOONG agonizing minutes where my older two children are yelling and running around and the baby is getting fussy on my hip. The line continues to grow until there are at least 15 people behind me. The place is silent except for my uncontrollable children. It’s nine-thousand degrees in there and I’m wearing long sleeves.

The guy finally comes back. I show him the mailing label (which I never affixed to the envelope), tell him I must have punched in the wrong zip. I just want to void it and print a new label. He looks puzzled. “Hm. Not sure we can do that. Let me check.” He disappears. Again.

The three-yr-old starts sneezing. Not just once, but several times in a row. Boogers are flying. The six-yr-old screams, “EW! He’s got boogers all over him!” and runs. The three-yr-old, thinking this is a game, laughs and chases her. I, in my infinite wisdom, did not bring the diaper bag or my purse. Heck, we were just supposed to run in and out. It wasn’t supposed to take ALL FREAKIN’ DAY! The baby burps and pukes all over my shoulder.

By this point, I’ve had it. I’m ready to start pulling fingernails out one by one – and not mine, mind you.

The guy finally comes back. He looks at me and says, “Can you come back tomorrow?”

What do you think I said?

Let’s just say, he didn’t ask again.

The older two are now ticked at me because they are grounded from friends for the rest of the afternoon and don’t understand why they didn’t get to go to DQ.

And I feel like locking myself in the bathroom for the rest of the night.

…Deidre Knight from The Knight Agency is answering questions from now until Sunday over at Romance Divas. No pitching, but answers to all your agent/publishing questions. Look under Forum and find Diva Deidre.

And yes, it’s still free. Just register.

Happy Anniversary to me!

The first draft of SOS if finally done! Woohoo!!!

Now I get the joy of starting revisions, revamping those first few chapters, writing a synopsis (egad!) and devising a kick-ass query for my dark and disturbing romantic suspense.

*sigh*

It’s never over, is it?

In case you haven’t heard…

Candace Haven is giving a class over at Romance Divas on writing a first draft in just two weeks.

Two weeks! Seriously!

And the class is FREE! All you have to do is register.

Check it out.

In contemplating the next book, one phrase keeps replaying through my mind.

Write what you know.

We’ve all heard it, but how accurate is it? If you write about what you know, what keeps you going? For me, part of the excitement of writing is learning about things I want to know. So a more accurate phrase for me would be, Write what you WANT to know. There are thousands of things I want to know, and because I’m a science nerd, they all tend to circle back around to some scientific topic or theme….archaeology, geology, medicine, and on and on.

My comfort zone includes anything scientific. The heroine in my WIP is a science teacher. I’ve included lots of little scientific facts here and there, and while most of them in this book don’t require a lot of research on my part (in this case I’m definitely writing about what I know), I’m still having fun looking things up and refreshing my memory from my teaching days. But I also stepped out of my comfort zone and added in a cop this time, which I generally steer clear of. Why do I steer clear of cops, you might ask? Because I don’t have any desire to learn about cops. I know I am law enforcement illiterate. There are lots of good cop-writers out there, and I’m smart enough to know I’m not one of them. I know nothing about procedure and rank and crime scene processing. And you know what I’ve learned? While I enjoy reading cop dramas, I have no desire to write them myself. My CP’s keep pointing out, “um…a police officer wouldn’t do or say this.” And all I can say in response is, thank God for CP’s! Because once this book is done, I’m not writing about another cop for a loooong time.

I don’t generally write about cops for the same reason I don’t write about lawyers or aliens or the Regency period. They’re all out of my comfort zone, I have no desire to research them, and writing about them causes more angst than they’re worth.

Hence, I will listen to the phrase, Don’t write about what you DON’T want to know. Because it will give you fits.

Of course, this may come back to bite me in the ass. My CP’s both write about cops, and they’re agented. I am not. Most of what you see on the bookstore shelves include cop or FBI dramas. Just look at what’s popular these days on TV…Law and Order, The Shield, CSI…all cop dramas. Does little ol’ scientific-topic RS writer over here in the corner stand a chance? I hope so. I like to think people want to read about things other than just cop dramas. Not everyone likes prime rib every night, all the time. Maybe I can be the rack of lamb they order once in a while, as a special treat.

So what is your comfort zone? What do you write about and why? And is there anything you don’t want to write about?

Okay, it’s not the WIP. It’s me. I can’t seem to muster up enough enthusiasm to finish this darn thing. And I’m sooo close. Seriously, like a chapter away from writing THE END. I thought it was my setting. So I changed that and was able to finish chapter 22. But now I’m stuck in the middle of 23, and it’s not that I’m stuck – the scene is percolating, I know what’s going to happen, and I want to write it…I just…can’t…seem…to…finish…it.

Maybe it’s because I know when I type THE END, I’m not really done. I have rewrites and the first three chapters need to be totally reworked. Holy crap, if I ever get published and have to sell off proposal I’m going to be in big trouble. Get me into chapter four and I’m cookin’…the characters come alive. But my Achilles Heel is the first three chapters. (Fabulous. Any agent who happened to google me just went, ‘okay, she’s off my list.’)

Or maybe it’s because I’m too focused on submissions I have out right now. Although I try not to be, I can’t help but be frustrated with how slow the publishing world works. I want answers now! I can handle rejection, just give it to me so I can rant and then get over it. (The little voice inside my head is saying, “Deal with it and move on, Elisabeth.” But for some reason, I’m not listening.)

But I think what’s really holding me up is I know too much about what it takes to get pubbed. I’m searching for an agent who will love my work, but that’s no guarantee I’ll ever make it. Want a little reality about landing an agent? Check this out – Misadventures in Misrepresentation. Lauren Baratz-Logsted is on her 6th agent. 6th! And she finally had an agent sell a book (she sold five on her own though – no thanks to her previous five agents). How depressing is that? Very.

And all of this is weighing heavily on my mind today when I should be sitting here working on chapter 23. Instead, I’m checking my email, wondering when I’m ever going to hear anything and trying to decide if hearing anything will really help me in the long run.

*sigh*

And in the meantime, the cursor is still blinking at me from page nine of chapter 23.

I think I may have figured out my problem with Chapter 22 of the WIP. Playing the avoidance game hasn’t worked. So yesterday, while sitting in the middle of a hail storm at the OSU vs. Boise State football game (Yes, you read that right, WHILE I was being pelted with dime-sized hail nuggets), I realized the problem I’ve been having is that the setting for the scene I’m trying to write just isn’t working. It works…but it doesn’t work for what comes next. So…I’m off to change that and see if it helps (please say it will help, please say it will help.)

In other news…The Beavs won (woohoo!) and even though it was miserably wet, we had a great time at the game yesterday. And the new and improved Reeser Stadium ROCKS! Eat your hearts out Ducks…once the other side is done it will be BETTER than Autzen!!! (It already is…OMG…it has escalators!)

I am avoiding chapter 22 like the plague. And I don’t know why. I’ve written – maybe- two pages on it today. It’s dark and depressing and I really hate what I’m doing to my characters. But it was inevitable. I know it was inevitable.

*sigh*

So here’s me today:

Get up, check email. Oooh…a request. That’ll keep me busy for a while.

Feed kids, get the oldest off to school.

Check email. Oooh. A rejection off query. There’s a mood buster.

Pick up crap around the house so the cleaning lady can actually clean.

Go blog hopping – waste a lot of time.

Print partial for request. Sit and read.

Revamp synopsis – that sucks.

Glance at chapter 22 of WIP. Not looking all that appealing.

Finish request, write cover letter, seal it all up.

Look at chapter 22 again. Not looking any better.

Go loop hopping. Hmmm…big discussion about erotica vs. erotic romance on the RWC loop. Not my thing. But if it’ll help me waste some time…okay, I’m in. Sit and read.

Make lunch for kids. Contemplate making cookies. That could waste more time. Yeah. Like these hips need anymore sugar and carbs. (Hello, Elisabeth. Sugar IS a carb.)

Look at chapter 22 again. Write half a page. This really sucks.

Aha! Baby’s awake. I’m off the computer for a good stretch.

Baby’s back asleep. Damn. Pull up chapter 22 again. Pull out hair at the roots. Why is this so hard????

Go to kitchen, eye a Corona in the refrigerator. Hmm…glance at clock. What time is it? Not even 3pm?

Argh!

I have a serious, serious problem. I should just throw in the towel and go balance the checkbook. (Yeah, right. Like THAT’LL put me in a better mood!)

The big HEA. Anyone who reads romance knows that’s a given. Although we may love RS for the whodunit factor and to see just how awful the situation can get for our hero or heroine, ultimately, we know they’re both going to live and they’re going to get their HEA. And generally, that means marriage or a long-term commitment of some kind.

However, all HEA’s aren’t created equal. I read two books over my vacation. The first – a true RS murder mystery by one of my favorite authors – was about a renegade FBI agent and a gem cutter. It was heavier on the suspense than the romance, but I still expected a HEA. There was one, don’t get me wrong, but after 400 pgs I expected some sort of declaration of love and devotion. And that wasn’t there. There was no mention of love anywhere, and only a hint that these two characters were going to stay together. No mention of marriage or even that they might live together. (Although she said if he got shipped off to Fargo, ND, she could always cut gems up there). As a romance reader, I felt gypped.

The other was a true contemporary romance that definitely had a happy ending. And oodles and oodles of ‘I love you’s’…to the point where I was like, ‘okay, enough already!’ BUT (and you knew that was coming) at the end, the hero and heroine announced they were getting married but that they wouldn’t be having kids. Now, maybe I’m old fashioned, but as a romance reader, that turned me off. Maybe it was because the hero coached a little league team and was great with his 8-yr old nephew. Maybe it was because he had a screwed up family and would make an awesome father because he’d know the way NOT to be. And maybe it’s because I have kids and know how great being a parent is. It’s definitely the hardest job on the planet, don’t get me wrong, but it’s also the most rewarding. And I can honestly say I find my DH way sexier now that he’s a father than I ever did before we had kids. So when I read a romance, and at the end the main characters say, “I love you, but I don’t want to have kids with you,” I think, “Okay, I LIKED you, but now I’m not so sure. Because you’re obviously selfish and don’t know what real commitment is.” And that doesn’t mean I’m biased to people who don’t have kids (I do remember what it was like to be childless – and it definitely has its pros). But when I read a romance and get all the way to the end, I want to know these characters are committed for the long haul. The option of kids? Long haul. Declaring you never want children with this person? Not all that committed. Personally, if your characters know they don’t want to have kids, I’d just rather not know that part.

So what do you look for in a HEA?

Want a good dose of reality and what it takes to get published today?

Check this out.

(Warning: Do not read if you prefer to be naively optimistic.)