I finished chapter one. Finally. It was like pulling teeth. And now? Now I hate it.

GAH!

I love the prologue, like the first scene, can’t stand the second. It’s boring. It’s not unique. And now I’m stuck at the beginning of two because the second half of one is such a smelly stinker.

My wonderful CP said, “Just write. First chapters are allowed to stink.” My perfectionist brain is rebelling though. No! No! No! First chapters can’t stink! They have to hook. They have to be special. They’re the only shot you have!

See my issues?

What happens in one sets the stage for two. So I’m back to the drawing board. So much for forward progress. Rewind to chapter one where I’ll be reworking those 12 pgs I cranked out the last two days, praying something wonderful seeps into my brain in the process.

And you know what really stinks (among other things)? After I read this blog post, I now have serious connected story ideas circulating in my head from my last ms. Ideas I’d been keeping locked down tight until yesterday. Shane was happy without his own book (or so I thought). Limbo-land was good for him. But then he went and read that blog, and now he’s getting all sorts of ideas and whispering them to me in the middle of the night when my already-scattered brain is trying to work out plot issues in chapter one of the WIP. (NOT his story.) The man is trying to take over, and I’m fighting him tooth and nail. I am NOT wasting my time on linked books until I know the first one sells. There’s no point!

So this is me – going back to work on stinky chapter one. And trying to keep one overbearing detective on the back burner as long as I can. (And I don’t even like writing about cops. He knows this!)

Wish me luck.

Two of my three Gremlins are gone to their grandparents’. The house is relatively quiet (esp. when Gremlin #3 is sleeping), and I can’t bleed out a single word to save my life.

Fast forward a week. All three Gremlins are now home. Chaos reigns supreme. The dog is barking, the doorbell’s ringing, kids are screaming and I’m writing like a mad-woman.

Just where is the logic?

Do you know it all? I will gladly admit that I don’t. (Contrary to what my husband says.) In most things, I know squat, although I do know how to look things up. I can research with the best of them, baby. And I tend to remember a lot. But if it’s not something I’m interested in at that moment, forget it. I took an online class on PIs earlier this summer and learned a lot of interesting info. Can I remember any of it? Nope. Not one damn thing. I wasn’t working on a PI story at the time. In one ear, out the other (or eye, since it was online.) Luckily though, I saved all the lessons, so when I do get to the point where I’m writing a PI story, I’ll have all that info to absorb like a sponge.

Where was I going with this? Oh, right. Knowing it all.

I was perusing a pubbed authors website earlier today, and in the Q&A section, one of the questions was, Do you know who your villain is when you start your books? The answer was yes, generally, but there have been times when even this author’s been surprised by the outcome of the story.

I thought that was really cool, because I generally don’t know who my villain really is. It’s neat to hear I’m not the only one out there who doesn’t always know how things are going to end up.

Last week I took the prologue of my new book to my local RWA meeting. Since it was a crit meeting, the group got to listen to it, which is told from the villain’s POV. After it was finished, a friend asked, “Why does he want to kill her?” And I went blank.

Weeeeellll…that’s a damn good question!

The answer isn’t so good, however. You see, I have an idea who my villain is, but I’m not one-hundred percent sure. In the last book I wrote, I was completely positive who and why and what my villain was all about. And then at the 3/4 point, I realized there was no WAY the person I’d tagged as the villain could have possibly done all the things I’d thought they could do. Then it hit me – WHAM – who the real villain was. And when I looked back through my previous chapters, sure I was going to have a major rewrite to work the new villain in, I realized I’d instinctively been leaving hints to the real villain all along. I just hadn’t known it. (For more on instincts, check out my post at Romance Worth Killing For today.)

For me, sometimes knowing everything there is to know about my villain takes all the fun out of writing. I can always go back in in revisions and add villain POV scenes if needed to up the tension, but in the initial draft, if I know everything, I have no desire to write the book. I like to learn about my characters – protagonists and antagonists – as I go along. Sometimes they surprise me, sometimes they don’t. But not knowing everything there is to know is pretty fun now and again.

So tell me the truth – and don’t lie. Are you a know-it-all or not?

Linda has exciting news. Check out her blog post at Romance Worth Killing For!

This week I’m down to one kid. One lonely one-year old who is suddenly missing his siblings.

We dropped the older two Gremlins at their grandparents house on our way home from vacation. I talked with both of them extensively beforehand, explained over and over that once we left we weren’t coming back to get them for a full week. It’s a 3+ hour drive to pick them up, so they had to be SURE they wanted to stay. If not, they needed to come home with us. Both decided they wanted to stay with Grandma and Grandpa.

That lasted about a day.

The 7-yr old Gremlin is used to being away from us. She loves to travel. I don’t worry about her at all. She sounded a little bored without her usual band of constant playmates, but I know she’ll settle in and have fun. The 4-yr old though, hasn’t spent long away from home. He’s been away from me several weeks in the last month with all my travel, but all those times he was still at home. He still had his toys, his routine, his friends on the street to go play with. This is his first “trip” away from home for any length of time, and I knew he’d probably have trouble. But when I talked to him yesterday – ONE day after we’d left them – my heart just broke.

“Mommy, can you please please PLEASE come pick me up? I promise I’ll be good. Just come get me. Please???” Said amidst major tears.

Ugh. It kills me. And my DH keeps saying this is good for the boy. But gosh, it’s hard to hear. I love him dearly, but I’m almost afraid to call and talk to him today.

The one kid I’m left with – Gremlin #3, who has always been my easiest – is suddenly very demanding. There’s no one to distract him, so guess who he’s suddenly attached to at the hip? Yep. Me. Luckily though, he is a good napper and I managed to get 10 pgs written yesterday. Of course, it would be more impressive if those were 10 pgs on the WIP and not just goofing around pages. But still, I guess writing’s writing and you take what you can get. Gonna try to work on the WIP a little when he naps today. Wish me luck…

Ever feel like you have nothing interesting to say? That’s me. Nothing interesting. No news. Nothing exciting going on. Just the daily grind – trying to make it from one day to the next without pulling my hair out.

(When does school start again?! I’m getting jealous of all you East Coasters who are starting already. We have…another month!)

Gremlin #3 has learned a few choice words lately: No. Go. Whoa. (Yes, he rhymes. We have high hopes he’ll be the next Shel Silverstein.) No is his favorite word. As in: NO! (I don’t want a kiss). I think he heard it a lot while I was in Atlanta. Go is another favorite. As in: GO! (Get out of my face! As he pushes you away.) These of course go along with MA! and DA! screamed at the top of his lungs. And he’s creative. He likes to combine these words now and then so we get interesting sentences like, WHOA MA! and NO! GO! (He’s actually learning male speach patterns quite well, don’t you think? Using as few words as possible to get his point across? Definitely hero material.)

Speaking of the Gremlins. I’m going to be stuck in a car with them for 3+ hours tomorrow. We’re taking them on a mini vacation. Which means I’ll be AWOL for a few days. (I’m sure you’ll miss me.) Just in case you get bored, you can check out Lisa’s blog. She’s got some incriminating photos from Nationals. Most of which should be burned for good measure and never seen again. And while you’re over there, please bug her about the fact I’m still waiting for my scene.

Joan posted about props today at Romance Worth Killing For. She makes me think every time I read her posts. Then, of course, I wonder if I’m doing things wrong and stress over the fact I seem to know nothing. Joan is my endless source of craft knowledge, so go check it out.

And Piper’s about the biggest blog slacker ever, so I’m just mentioning her name for good measure. (And making her feel guilty about not seeing me next week. S-L-A-C-K-E-R.)

All right. I have to go because Gremlins are climbing out of their beds and heading for the bathroom for just one more drink of water, and we all know what happens when they get wet. Must head them off.

Wish me luck on the mini-vaca with them. Ay ya ya…

So maybe blogger will let me post these now. Cross your fingers…

Me with Roxanne St.Claire at the literacy signing.

There she is. The woman of the night. CP Joan Swan, up for a GH, on the big screen at the awards ceremony. I just wish it hadn’t been so dark.

Geez, blogger is being temperamental. I’ve been trying to post pics from nationals over at

Don’t think I got to bed before 1am any night, and Lisa’s alarm went off way too early every morning. But it was fun. Even with about 5 hrs sleep per night, it was fun. Sorta like one great big slumber party. Alice and Lisa were hilarious roommates to have.

Oh, and this was funny…every single person who checked my ID thought I was trying to pass off fake ID. I had to have my license renewed when I was 8 mo. pg with Gremlin #3 and I was HUGE. I also had my hair pulled back and hadn’t had it highlighted at the time. Everyone who checked it said it looked nothing like me, and since it was out of state, caused red flags. And then they all said I didn’t look my age – now THAT part I enjoyed!

Yesterday was recovery day for me. Today’s been all about getting back into the swing of things with my kids. The baby’s still punishing me – doesn’t want to give kisses or hugs – and I’m hoping it doesn’t last long. He learned the word “no” while I was gone, and has learned it well. Must have heard it a lot.

So now I’m off to work on my submissions. Hope you all had a great week whether you were in Atlanta or not.