There’s no real rhyme or reason to this, just things that are on my mind.

An agent has shown interest in Marina’s Bane. Wahoo, yippie! For some reason, I’m not all that thrilled. I mean, I am, but I’m more at the “Oh, crap, now what do I do?” stage. In an email she mentioned there were “problems” that needed to be fixed, which means revisions. Which is no biggie…but I’ve been obsessing all weekend about what those “problems” could be. She called on Friday, but of course, I missed the call, so I have to wait until to tomorrow to phone her back.

And I’m still curious what the other agents who have the manuscript have to say about it. Have they read it? Did they like it? Will I hear from them soon? I don’t want to jump at the first agent who shows interest – I want to make an informed decision about representation (uh, yeah, right…informed. I feel like a first-year teacher standing in front of her first class on her first day, tongue-tied with no clue what she’s going to say or do.) So many questions running through my mind.

Which of course means I haven’t been able to write this weekend because I’ve beeen obsessing over the above. I’m on pg 18 of chapter 10 in the WIP, and if I had any self-motivation, I’d wrap that chapter up and move one. But I can’t. Between building the play structure from Hell (see below) and worrying about agents, I’ve accomplished zilch on the WIP. And I should be working on it now – but alas, I’m here blogging instead (What does that tell you about my procrastination skills?) Part of me says, “what’s the point?” I’m going to get a revision list tomorrow for MB and my focus will shift there, so why even worry about the WIP at all right now?

Because I should. Because I can’t just leave them hanging. Because the scene is in my head, I just can’t seem to make my fingers punch it into the computer.

*sigh*

On an unrelated topic, I think I’m going to enter a contest. I know, I know, I hate contests. I do, but this one looks okay. And I want to see what sorts of feedback WFM gets in a contest before the GH in Dec. Because I’m thinking of entering that one (Lord, why?).

And the play structure from Hell? Making progress. Worked on it all day yesterday with the DH. We now have the fort done (aside from all the fun stuff that needs to be attached, like the telescope, and driving wheel, and slide, etc.) But wow – it looks good! We began working on the monkey bars/swings today, but it started raining and Gremlin #3 wasn’t cooperating. So we bagged it, and DH decided to take Gremlin #1 to a baseball game instead (in the rain…don’t even try to figure that one out. I expect them home any time.). I guess we’ll be working on it again this week. But…the major construction is done – thank you, Lord.

As of today:

Marina’s Bane:

3 fulls out – 1 month, 1 month, 1 week
2 Partials out – 4.5 weeks, 7 weeks
1 other request on a partial if I cut 10K words. Waiting to send on that one until I hear back on the fulls out currently.
14 Out-standing Queries (may need to write off a few of those).

Wait For Me:

1 Partial out – 7 weeks
1 10-pg partial out (I know, don’t laugh) – 1 week
7 Queries from a week ago still waiting on

Debating whether I should send more MB queries, or wait on the fulls I have out now and query WFM instead. Decisions, decisions…

Probably the one RWR article that gets me going is the First Sale column. I mean, come on, I hope to be there soon. So I’m always curious “who’s” making it now. And while I’m usually excited to read it, I’m generally depressed after having done so.

So and so announces her first sale. This was the first manuscript she finished. She has been writing for one year.

Well, gee. That makes me feel spiffy.

So and so announces her first sale. This was the second manuscript she finished. She has been writing for twelve years.

Now here’s where my brow creases and my eyes cross. Does that mean it took her twelve years to write two manuscripts? Or has she written umpteen-million manuscripts since and number two was the first that sold? I usually walk away from the First Sold column scratching my head for various reasons.

The topic of first sales and old manuscripts recently came up on the RWC list. And having read through most of the responses, I walked away with the feeling that moving ahead with new work is generally more productive than going back and reworking old manuscripts. Several published authors said they just “knew” when they had the manuscript that was “it”. That they had found their voice and knew that was the one that would get them there.

But tell me this…how do you know when you have THE ONE?

I recently reworked an old manuscript. And while I dreaded it from the get-go, the rewrite went so much faster than I ever expected. Once I started writing, the flow was there, the characters came alive and the plot laid itself out for me. Does that mean I’ve found my voice? Who knows. I do like the result of that rewrite, and I’ve received great feedback from everyone who’s read it. But does that mean it’s THE ONE?

No clue. I’m only starting to query that manuscript now. Time will tell, I guess.

I also know my writing is better with my WIP than it was in my last few manuscripts. (If the big red marks from my cp’s are any indication…I’m getting less and less of those with each crit. And damn it, I am learning how to use a comma correctly! LOL). The mechanics of writing are easier, the scenes pop into my head faster. But in the midst of the process, I often feel like I’m writing drivel. Only when a cp says, “no, this is good,” do I think, “okay, maybe I’m starting to get it”. But does that mean I’ve found my voice?

No clue. If anything, I think I’m only more confused.

When I was a teacher, I used to live for summer break. Long, lazy days, no responsibilities, nothing to do but bask in the warmth and relish my time away from hormonally crazed teenagers. Every teacher knows without summer vacation, they’d lose that slight grasp on their sanity they’re desperately trying to hang on to.

Then I quit teaching. And now, summer vacation is no longer that most treasured time of the year, it’s my own personal HELL.

Darling daughter had her last day of school yesterday. Forget the fact she was only in Kindergarten and was only going to school half days anyway. Forget the fact she’s six and doesn’t know what true boredom is. Five minutes after arriving home from school, she was going out of her mind. “There’s nothing to do. I’m bored! What am I going to do all summer long?”

I’m now convinced summer vacation was created by evil-teachers to punish parents who sick their monster children on them nine months out of the year. Every teacher is laughing their ass off right now as they sit on their back porch drinking mai tai’s at ten o’clock in the morning, relishing the fact they have two months off from screaming children, demanding parents and that nightmare known as teaching.

But as I sit here trying to write, listening to my six-year-old who doesn’t know how to stop talking (UGH, where did she learn that annoying trait?), one small consolation fact is trickling through my mind. Those teachers might have two months of freedom, but come September, I’m going to be laughing all the way to school and back. Because you won’t only be getting one of my non-stop talking children, you’ll be getting two. And just wait until all three of them are there.

Bwah ha ha ha…

Payback is a bitch.

Since I’m currently in Query Hell, I thought I’d take a minute to dissect the most recent rejection letter I received on a requested partial. Seriously, do agents get together and mass-copy these things? Cause I swear I’ve received this one numerous times from different agencies.

Dear Ms. Naughton:

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your partial of Marina’s Bane.
What the hell kind of title is that anyway? Were you out to lunch when you came up with it?

Unfortunately, after careful consideration, …
Careful consideration? ROFL. As if. Do you realize how many submissions I receive each month? You’re lucky I read the first three pages.

…I do not feel enthusiastic enough about the project to be able to pursue it further.
It sucked. Seriously. I don’t even know what else to say about it.

As I am sure you can imagine I receive a tremendous number of submissions, and are forced to limit my focus to only a few projects. (This agent obviously needs a grammar lesson.)
Which doesn’t include yours. And probably never will.

Agenting is subjective and even though we are passing on your project right another agent might feel differently. (That’s their missing word, not mine).
But probably not. We’re not a big agency and you couldn’t even “wow” us. Seriously reconsider your career choice.

I wish I could send out a more personal response.
ROFLMAO. If you believe that one, I have land to sell you in Siberia.

Thank you for your interest in this agency.
Please, please, please don’t send us anything in the future.

Please accept my best wishes for your success in your writing career.
But if you ever sell a book, I’ll eat my hat. Odds aren’t in your favor, sweetheart.

Sincerely,
An Agent You’ll Never Sign With.

Linda’s resorted to creating her own form rejection letters to mail with her queries. Might not be a bad idea. At least then I wouldn’t have to read between the lines.

Dear Uber-Agent,

I would like to take this opportunity to tell you about my 500,000-word “almost” (but not even close) completed suspense novel, The Sucky Writer.

Romance Novelist Elisabeth Naughton has been searching for an agent all her life. Unable to face rejection, she continues to write with no end in sight. She’s a panster at heart and doesn’t understand the concepts of plotting, or manuscript length or even character arcs. But she knows how to put words on paper, dammit. And she’s darn good at it.

When she decides to hone her craft by signing up for a writing workshop from her local writer’s group, she thinks she’s finally got it made. But the wicked-witch-of-the-west instructor has it out for Elisabeth, and soon our fiesty heroine is fighting for her life amid paper cuts and plotting sheets and little yellow stickies that seem to get stuck in the most inappropriate areas. Can she ever find her way out of the mess she’s created? And will that hunky agent she’s been stalking for the last five years ever be able to rescue her from the wicked witch’s mind-zapping control? And will he want to?

The Sucky Writer is the only book I’ve ever attempted to write. It combines my 8th grade background in keyboarding with my desire to be the next Danielle Steele. I need a way out of this single-wide trailer and the eight kids tugging on my pant legs. My no-good, dirt-bag husband left me for a younger model last year. But that’s another story. And I’ll wait until you sign me before I get into it. Woo-hee is that a tale you don’t want to miss. That is the last time I let my trash-talking sister set me up on a blind date with our first cousin. The things I could tell you…

If you would like to read more of The Sucky Writer, I could send you at least the first five pages…if I can find some paper that hasn’t been colored on, or stepped on, or shredded by those monsters known as children lately. Gimme a minute and let me see what I can find.

Sincerely,

Ima Nutcase

Seriously.

I’m a pretty private person. In the year and a half I’ve been seriously writing, I’ve only shared my words with a handful of people. I finally mustered up the courage to tell my mother about my writing for two reasons. One, I wanted to go to Nationals in Reno this year, and two, I needed a babysitter for the kids while DH was at work during the day. Since my mother is a teacher and is off for the summer, she was willing to watch the kids. But asking that one small favor has opened up a whole can of worms.

She wants to read my book.

Oh, Lord.

My mother does not read romance. She reads mysteries – Grisham, Margolin – anything but romance. She read The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks and had trouble with the love scene. Well, crap. I’m screwed. She can’t read my work. Can’t. No way – no how.

So she was here last night for DD’s Kindergarted graduation. And she asked. Again. “When do I get to read your book? Do I have to wait until it’s published?”

Um…I’m thinking she will have to wait a lot longer than that if I have anything to say about it.

Marina’s Bane, which is under consideration with several agents now has . . . let me count, um . . . three full love scenes, two other partials. Oh, yeah, like I want her reading that. So that’s out of the question. I could give her Wait For Me to read instead, that’s done now. It only has one love scene. But, oh wait . . .HELLO! my alpha agressive wall-backing hero and the near violent love scene would probably give my mother a heart attack.

I don’t want to have to explain to my kids that grandma died while reading mommy’s book.

Okay. I’m screwed. No way she can read my work.

And then there’s my sweet, adorable six year old daughter. She knows I write. She asks about my work all the time. She knows Marina’s Bane is about an archaeologist. Last night at graduation, each child made a poster of what they wanted to be when they grew up. Then as they walked across the stage in their little graduation cap, the teacher announced over the microphone what their aspirations were. My daughter said, “When I grow up, I want to be an archaeologist.” Sweet, huh? Oh yeah. She also wants to read my book. “Mommy, when you get your book made, I want to sit with you and we can read it together.”

Oh, yeah. Like that’s ever gonna happen!

Muse drops onto the couch with a large glass of wine, a bowl full of Hershey’s chocolate kisses and the hot and tantalizing sex scenes in HOTM. If those heroes of hers think she’s yielding to their bitching and complaining, they have another thing coming.

SHE has one important novel to finish reading for her cp and the uber-agent request said cp received.

A wicked grin quirks the Muse’s mouth. Little do those complainers of hers know they were sent over to cp Muse’s basement for a reason. Until this novel is finished, they’re just going to have to hang out and deal with Stanton and Tick. Last heard, one very bitchy FBI agent had arrived to put them in their place.

Check out the Return Of The Hero party in the Muse’s basement…

Muse: *Taps pencil against chin, contemplates choices. * “Nope. I don’t like this. Something’s not right. You. Here. You, over there. Yes, you. The one with the silly grin on your face. Take a seat there.” *Scans area.* “Yeah. That’s better.”

Ethan: “Wait a minute. I’m not liking this. You just left me hangin’ with the hot chick. She all but wants me, and you’re telling me to have a seat and wait? What the hell have you been sniffing behind that screen?”

Kelsey: “Quit your whining. She’s got my first chapter swirling around in there. She has to get it out before she loses it.”

Ethan: *Shoots Kelsey a look.* “I knew I never should have let you into my book. You’re causing all sorts of problems, just like you always do. Trying to take over and worm your way into the spotlight. Ain’t gonna happen chica.”

Kelsey: *Rolls eyes.* “Ooh, I’m scared.”

Alec: “Children, please. Quit your bitchin’. I’m first.”

Ethan: *Glares at his brother.* “Shut up. You started this whole thing. Poppin’ into her head on her morning runs. If it weren’t for you, she wouldn’t be thinking of leaving me stranded to take care of your whiney ass.”

Muse: *Lets out a long-suffering sigh.* “It was that damn dinner scene that did this to me. If you obnoxious siblings don’t quit your fussing I’m going to go off and write Rusty’s book first. That’ll teach you.”

Rusty: *Leans back in his chair, props his feet up on the coffee table, rests his hands behind his head and whistles.*

Muse: *Throws hands up in the air.* “That’s it! It’s official. I’ve TOTALLY lost control of my book…and my characters…and my sanity.” *Leaves bickering children to themselves as she stalks off to find chocolate.*

Reluctantly playing along.

Total Number Books I Own: No. Freakin’. Clue. Seriously, I have 20′ of new bookshelves completely filled. Why on earth was I ever worried I wouldn’t be able to fill the shelves in our addition??? And that doesn’t count the ones upstairs in my bedroom, or on the bookshelves upstairs, or in the boxes in the attic. *sigh* Way too many to count.

Last Book Read: Undercover Babies by Alice Sharpe

Book Sitting On My Coffee Table I’m Planning To Read: Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult

Five Books That Mean A Lot to Me:

1. Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
2. The Lord of The Rings – Tolkein
3. The Lion, The Witch, & The Wardrobe – C.S. Lewis
4. Anne of Green Gables Series – L.M. Montgomery
5. Perfect - Judith McNaught

And finally…my tags:
1. Piper Lee
2. Paty Jager
3. Danita Shattuck
4. Bethany Cunningham
5. Christine Keach